Midterms

Midterms are upon those of us on the quarter system. I am totally, utterly screwed. For my readers not in grad school, you may or may not know that passing in grad school (at least at UCI, I assume it's similar in other places) is a B. If you get a B-, you fail the class. I am on a fellowship that requires me to keep at least a 3.3 GPA. I don't see this happening, to be quite honest. It's something I am very worried about. I don't know why, since my physics GPA at Pomona was higher than this, but it's still scary, especially in quantum where there's no homework to help me out. I suppose if I fail I can come up with an alternative plan that doesn't involve a physics PhD, although I would be upset that I couldn't hack. The more I think about it, though, the more I really want to be a pastry chef.

Being a grad student sucks

I read almost 100 pages of quantum mechanics today. This was after failing miserably to do my math methods homework, which is taught by the worst professor I have ever had. He talks about theorems but never writes down what they are. He doesn't give us any examples that are similar to the homework, so I can't do it. All my classmates have seen this stuff before, so they've all done it. I also only slept for 3.5 hours last night, since I couldn't fall asleep after finishing my mechanics homework, which took a good 15 hours to do. I have so much work for the next 1.5 weeks, since midterms are upon us. Well, more than the barely manageable workload I have normally. There is also a professor here who reminds me of Tanenbaum, right down to the similar research they do. If you've heard me talk about Tanenbaum, you know my thoughts. This man is similarly a douchebag, although he is named Phil Collins, which is kind of fabulous. Out of everyone I've talked to, I'm the only person that is taking three graduate level courses, and all of them are in physics. Everyone is simultaneously freaking out about the quals (which are in April at the earliest), and midterms, which start Wednesday. And I don't even have to TA. I don't know what I'm going to do next quarter. The shock of attending a large institution still hasn't really worn off.

I wish I could make protected posts here, because if I could be sure certain people weren't reading I would have a whole lot more to rant about, but I don't want to anger people.

Jimmy Eat World!

I love Jimmy Eat World! I went to the concert in San Diego last night with Cameron. It was amazing. The opening band was ok; definitely better than I expected, but it was the opening band, so there you have it. JEW played for about an hour and a half; mostly stuff from the older albums. There were a few from the new one that just came out, which I am going to get. I might just buy it off iTunes, but I sort of would like to have a complete set of CDs. The only bad part was the super-drunk guy, and my fear of the mosh-pit. I wish my camera was working, and I didn't even take a cell phone picture, because that's sort of lame. The venue was packed, and we were pretty close to the stage. After, Cameron and I walked around downtown San Diego and had a drink. We both had beer floats with raspberry beer, which again, is basically a novelty item. As far as beer goes, though, it was pretty good.

I don't feel like I'm floundering quite as much this week. I've done a few quantum problems and a few math methods problems, and I'll do more tomorrow. I'm getting some cooking in, although it's hard to figure out what to do with some of my vegetables. I keep planning my meals out, and then things come up. Tomorrow I'm also doing general chores.

I'm trying to get some non-school reading in before bed every night, just to keep myself sane, so I'm off to do that. Granted I read shitty books, but still.

To elaborate on part of why I don't like it here, there's a big difference between going to a small, liberal arts college like Pomona and a huge public university like UCI. It's very impersonal here. My professors don't know me, and they're not really putting in the effort to get to know any of us. On the flip side, I could go introduce myself, but even then I'm not sure they would care. My quantum professor also doesn't teach us anything. He doesn't collect the homework, which he assigns a lot of, and he doesn't teach us how to do anything on it. I have no idea how I'm going to pass this class. And by pass I mean get a B-, since you can't get below that or you fail out. I also don't like that I live 30 min away from my classes. I have to take a shuttle and then walk 10-15 min. I might as well have lived off campus. Then I could at least justify buying a parking permit and driving to school. Everything here is such a bureaucracy, and nothing runs smoothly at all.

People-wise, it's ok. There are some people I like well enough, but there are others that drive me up a wall.

I had a whole thing written about how I hate it here, but then I realized I should probably censor myself a bit, although that sort of defeats the purpose of having a blog. Anyway, I'm not sure I want to come back next quarter, or even next week, really. If you would like to hear more about this, you can reach me privately and I will explain to you why I don't think I want to pursure this career path.

Oh my God, you guys, this is hilarious. Read it. You will laugh. And then browse, because it's a pretty funny comic.

Old Habits Die Hard

Yes, I am up and it's nearly 2:30 AM. This is the first time I've been up so late since coming back from Ojai. I had quite the night tonight. I went to a party with the first year physics grad students, and we watched Real Genius (which was filmed in Harwood, and it's super-obvious if you know Harwood). I left early, however, since some of us were going to go to the Rocky Horror Picture Show (stage version). It's a midnight show. I dress up in my fishnets, short skirt, and corset top, and some other people dress up as well. When we get there, it's dark, but we were there a bit early, so we went to get some food and come back. The theatre is still dark, so we're trying to figure out why. Brokk is thinking about it, and he says it's the right day, October fifth. And then I realized, no, that was last night. So then we went to a bar. It was fun.

Question of the Day

Should I get an iPhone? It would be an early Christmas present from my uncle. Pros: IT'S AN iPHONE!!!! Cons: Montly plan is somewhat expensive. I've also heard that AT&T has bad reception in Irvine, which defeats the whole purpose of getting a new phone.

Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV This Week

And now it is time for the triumphant (although most-likely short-lived) return of The Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV This Week (and the week is still young, but I know nothing will top this). This week it is Gossip Girl. I didn't think it could get more bitchy than it was last week, but I was so very, very wrong. The cat-fight during the field hockey game was fabulous. It was Awesome.

So this weekend I am going on a real date. The last date I went on was with John. Also, physics is going to kick my ass. I'm not sure that this is the right thing for me. That's too much angst and requires more explanation than I'm willing to give right now.